This was an interesting one. At the end of the chat, the person said their mind was cleared, however I am not sure if we alleviated their initial topic. Something definitely got released though. It could be that their topic is buried, or potentially they need to process the pain of the past event to release it (something they were not willing to do). Check it out… Interesting conversation.
You: Hi
Stranger: Hii
You: We are both interested in psychology. what interests you?
Stranger: Idk
Stranger: psychology is cool
Stranger: i have no time to learn abt it
You: Its a tough subject to learn about. Lots of things to it
Stranger: YES
You: I have figured out some things about psychology and therapy that have helped me a lot and I want to share them with others. Open to giving it a try?
Stranger: Yea sure
You: Ok cool. In order to do this, we need a topic. It should be something that is on your mind. Could be something that causes anxiety, sadness, or thoughts you don’t want
Stranger: idk what its called
Stranger: when i talk to people
Stranger: i feel like im annoying and im scared they might leave me bc iam
You: This is a great topic. I believe by the end of our chat
You: that wont be happening
Stranger: Okay!
You: Ok so when you talk to people you feel like youre annoying them? And scsared they might leave during the chat?
Stranger: yes
You: Is this all people? Or only for some?
Stranger: im scared they might leave me or dont like me
Stranger: so
Stranger: its
Stranger: when i get to know new people
Stranger: and i like them
Stranger: i get attached to them easily
Stranger: it counts for them
Stranger: soo
Stranger: all
Stranger: ig
Stranger: i only talk to people i like
You: Ok so if you have to talk to someone you dont like, this doesnt happen, right?
Stranger: Kinda
Stranger: so for example
Stranger: on omegle
Stranger: when im chatting with somebody
Stranger: and they suddenly skip
Stranger: i think that im annoying too
Stranger: and stuff
You: ok thats good to know. But what about off omegle
You: like at the store or something
You: just some cashier
You: or something mundane
You: still thoughts there?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: im scared i might sound weird
You: How long has this been happening? always or did it start at a certain time
Stranger: it started 1 1/4 years ago
Stranger: approximately
You: Ok lets try something, if it doesnt work, we can try some other things
Stranger: sur
Stranger: e
You: Ok, can you think of a time when you were talking to someone you really liked. you felt like you sounded weird and that you were annoying them. And maybe they left or didnt like you?
You: approximately 1 1/4 years ago
Stranger: yes
You: did something pop into mind?
Stranger: yes
You: ok just remember everything you can about that interaction
You: You may feel something, or maybe not. Just try to relive it and re-experience it again
You: in your mind
Stranger: My old bestfriend just was different than usual
Stranger: and it seemed like she was annoyed of me
Stranger: then she suddenly had a new bsf
Stranger: and i was just left alone
Stranger: she was my only friend
You: Ok so now I want to check in. Do you feel a slight difference about this fear now? Sometimes remembering something can help alleviate it
Stranger: ? what do you mean
You: So sometimes the thoughts we have have a source
You: and when we become aware of the source event, they stop coming up on their own
You: do you think you will still have these thoughts when talking to people. Here were the thoughts
You: I am scared they might leave me
I am scared they dont like me
I feel like I am annoying them
I am scared I might sound weird
Stranger: yes
You: Ok
You: want to try something else then?
Stranger: Yea
You: Ok this one will be kinda different. Its called a turnaround. I am going to turn your thoughts aroudn and just read them and see if any ring true:
Stranger: OKAY
You: I am scared I might leave me
I am scared I dont like me
I feel like I annoy myself
You: do any of those ring true?
Stranger: I am scared i might leave me?? im sorry but i dont understand what you mean
You: It sounds like it didnt work…
You: If it worked, it would resonate
You: with your mind
You: It seems to me that these thoughts are as a result of this past event. Would you agree?
Stranger: I guess
You: Can you re-read the thoughts and see if they match up to that past event with your old BFF?
You: I am scared they might leave me
I am scared they dont like me
I feel like I am annoying them
I am scared I might sound weird
Stranger: After that event i tried finding new friends but they all left over and over again
Stranger: i think i should add that
You: Ok
You: So when you read those thoughts tho, do they match up to that past experience?
Stranger: They all match
You: So I believe that this past event with your BFF has caused pain
Stranger: it did
You: and that pain didnt get fully processed and accepted. So you have this unprocessed pain
You: and it kinda pops up as these thoughts
You: because talking to people reminds you subconsciously of that moment.
You: So if this is all true.
You: The solution is to relive the moment with your friend and the pain until it kinda burns off and processes
You: As you reflect on it, and feel it, it should process
You: when you think about that past event with your old BFF, does emotion come up with it?
Stranger: yes
You: Ok see if you can really feel that emotion
Stranger: i dont want to think about
You: Just try to relax and allow it in
You: I think since you haven’t let it in, its popping up day to day
You: and preventing you from making new friends
You: Its kinda sabatouging in some way
You: So if you want it to go away forever, you have to be willing to rethink about it and feel it until you can do think about it without emotion
You: it may only take a minute
You: in my experience
You: are you willing to try it?
Stranger: wait
Stranger: ill drink some water
You: ^good idea
Stranger: im back
You: Ok, sometimes just rethinking about it brings up emotion. it may already be getting processed
You: how are you feeling right now?
Stranger: anxious
You: Are you resisting thinking about this past event?
Stranger: yes
You: I understand if you are… its hard
You: I have let go of so many of these patterns
You: I promise it doesn’t take too long to process. Even heavy things
You: But I also konw that if you dont process it, its going to stay in there.
You: And keep popping up as this fear. And I do believe this is affecting your ability to forge new connections
You: So again, your mission should you accept it. Is to relax, think about the moment and just let the emotion come in
Stranger: its not only that that affects my ability to find friends
Stranger: my personality is shit too
You: Whats stopping you from going into it and processing it?
Stranger: its just
Stranger: i dont want to think about it
Stranger: it was a very hard time for me
You: My friend.. You are thinking about it. Every time you interact with someone
Stranger: im trying to not think about it
You: I understand
You: The way out is through
You: can you think of some aspect of it?
You: maybe not the whole thing but ease into it?
You: sometimes I cover part of my face during a horror movie
You: cus I dont want to see it all at once
You: can you take that approach to it and process little by little?
Stranger: i dont think so
Stranger: when i try thinking abt it it all comes up
You: Let me ask you this. What would your life be like if this was fully processed and not ever on your mind?
Stranger: so
Stranger: i would have friends
You: What would it be liek to have friends?
Stranger: ??
You: So this is preventing you from making friends. What else is it preventing you from doing?
Stranger: im avoiding every kind of social contact but i think thats also bc of it
You: Ok so because this is unprocessed you arent making friends and you avoid all social contact
You: My friend… No inner pain is worth giving that up in life
Stranger: yes
You: I think you know what you need to do…
Stranger: ?
Stranger: i dont
You: You have to remember this event and process the pain. So that you can have a better life. One with friends
You: with your old bff
You: you are resisting thinking about it. But thinking about it and feeling it is the solution
You: thats how it gets processed
You: it will actually feel amazing after you do it. Trust me i’ve released some havey shit
You: heavy shit*
Stranger: so
Stranger: should i just
Stranger: think about it
You: Yes I would think about it and allow yourself to feel whatever comes up with it
You: you may cry a bit
You: or something
You: thats part of processing
You: you want to think about it as much as needed to allow all the emotion to process
You: until you can think about it all without feeling emotion, you will have these thoughts
You: will you give it a try?
Stranger: yea
You: are you alone? maybe good to be alone
Stranger: sorry if i wont answer
You: in case you cry
Stranger: im alone
You: take 5 mins. I will be here when youre done
You: close your eyes and think about it
Stranger: Np
Stranger: no
You: too painful?
Stranger: yes
You: Can you think about it and imagine it was a movie?
You: like characters in a movie?
You: well idk actually
You: I dont want to suggest something that may not work tried and true
Stranger: so
Stranger: i should imagine me and my bff
Stranger: but as if we were
Stranger: movie characters
You: its an idea
You: ive never done it
You: but I do KNOW
You: you have to process it and think about it
Stranger: or should i replace me and her with movie characters
You: Either. Think of it as a warmup to actually think about it
You: Do you think it may help you?
Stranger: i dont think so
Stranger: im bad at imagining things
You: Hmm ok so here’s where we are at. You have these debilitating thoughts. The thoughts are because there is an unprocessed event that was incredibly painful on you and the solution to releasing the thoughts is to process the pain.
You: What would help you move forward?
Stranger: finding someone who would make me feel safe, comfortable, understood and loved
You: Will you be able to do that while you have this stored pain?
Stranger: yes
You: Ok. I dont want to push you. I wish that you can process this pain at some point. as I mentioend, that is why you are having the thoughts you are having.
You: Unless you want me to ask questions to help you through it?
Stranger: that would be nice
You: What about the past event iwth your BFF was most painful?
Stranger: seeing her leave me
Stranger: and seeing somebody else near her
Stranger: that wasnt me
You: When you saw her leave you, what did you feel in your body?
You: when you saw that?
You: tension in chest, gut, etc
You: stomach
You: what did you feel?
Stranger: i was
Stranger: i just wanted to disappear
Stranger: idk
Stranger: its hard to describe
You: can you locate it in your body even if you dont share it?
Stranger: ?
You: When you saw her with this other person, what thoughts did you have?
Stranger: i thought :
Stranger: Why isnt it me?
Stranger: What did i do wrong?
Stranger: Its all my fault
You: So you think she left you becuase you did something wrong and it was your fault. Can you think of one possiblity that woudl make it not true?
You: that maybe it wasnt your fault or you didnt do anything wrong
Stranger: no
You: Is it possible that she just liked someone else. And you didnt really do anything wrong
You: Is it POSSIBLE
You: Is it possible for you to like someone, and then like someone else more. And the person you first liked didnt do anything wrong
Stranger: I think its not
You: Is there something specific that you feel you did wrong?
You: that maybe contains a lot of pain and regert?
You: regret*
Stranger: i talked to much
Stranger: i got boring
You: Is it possible for someone to LIKE people who talk a lot?
You: I know people who do
You: Let me ask you this. Have you ever felt like you bore yourself?
You: thats a turnaround just seeing if it resonates
Stranger: kinda
You: ok think about this idea. “I bore myself” or “I am upset with myself for boring myself”
You: If it kinda resontes that is good
You: means something might have clicked.
Stranger: I lie a lot so i wont seem boring
You: Maybe you lie to keep from boring yourself
You: or being bored in yourself
You: ok I feel like something just clicked… but I could be wrong. How are you feeling now?
Stranger: i cant explain it
You: maybe we found something? When this works you will feel it. soemtimes its hard to explain
You: you feel different right? than like 5 mins ago? it coudl be subtle but its there
Stranger: yep
Stranger: i feel different
You: thats good ^
You: Now lets go back to the original topic and check in
Stranger: okay
You: I am scared they might leave me
I am scared they dont like me
I feel like I am annoying them
I am scared I might sound weird
You: these were your thoughts… Do they feel less heavy or kinda like there is a difference in some way?
Stranger: no
You: hmm ok so I think we found something but not the root cause of these thoughts.
You: So I think we found something . usually after a release I check in to see whats on your mind
Stranger: okayy
You: whats on your mind?
Stranger: idk
Stranger: nothing
Stranger: empty
You: Feeling better a bit?
You: more relaxed?
Stranger: yea
You: Ok great. We released 1 thing. I think if we keep working together eventually we can release the thoughts you are having during conversations. But we have to wait until more things are on your mind and keep releasing things 1 by 1.