I was working on getting a few things set up for my website and hit a wall. I just couldn’t figure out how to move the project forward. After like 1 hour of tinkering, I started to get frustrated. The frustration continued to build until I started to make comments to my wife. “Ugh I am so freaking annoyed!”
For the next 4 hours, I was in a bad mood. When my wife asked me to do the work, I just got irritated and said “I don’t know what to do the work on”. I felt like there wasn’t enough information for me to figure this one out.
Then I finally got fed up. We had plans to see friends that night and I didn’t want to be in a bad mood, so I decided I would try to figure this PopUp out. I quieted myself and wrote down my thoughts:
I am annoyed I can’t figure out this simple thing
It’s so frustrating
I am frustrated that I can’t do it and it’s in my capabilities
It’s taking too long
I then thought about where this may come from. For some reason, this really odd memory kept creeping up in my head. I didn’t think it was connected, but from my experience, I knew to trust ANYTHING that comes up when doing this work. It started out as just the name of someone I grew up with. Someone I didn’t spend a lot of time with. But as I went into the memory more, it became clear what this was about…
Now this memory is a bit embarrassing, but I want to share it so you can see how funny these PopUps can be. When I was very little, I was at a friends house and had to go to the bathroom. Unfortunately, it was taking a long time. So I think I sat in his bathroom for like 1 hour just trying to make it happen. Finally his parents knocked on the door and I realized how much time had spent. I felt very embarrassed.
Here are the thoughts I was having about my website again:
I am annoyed I can’t figure out this simple thing
It’s so frustrating
I am frustrated that I can’t do it and it’s in my capabilities
It’s taking too long
When I realized the source of this tension it released and I instantly felt much better.
This is a great lesson to trust your mind. When it is surfacing something, it’s wise to pay attention.