Personal Story: I had plans to play video games with my friends from 6-9. I know, I know, it’s just something I like to do and it’s a social thing for me. But my wife was very upset with me over it. She had plans for us to do a wine and cheese night. I asked if we could do it during the day, but it ended up not being the same. When 5:00pm came around she started to get upset with me. She complained that we didn’t get a nice night together and that I always want to play my games. As we discussed it, I insisted that SHE had a PopUp. But when I reflected, I noticed that I felt a little heated over things too. So I wrote down my thoughts.

 

I am upset with my wife because she is trying to stop me from doing something I really care about…

Then I applied the turnaround

I am upset with myself because I am trying to stop her from doing something she cares about.

At first, nothing clicked but then I had an “ah ha”! My wife cares about wine and cheese night. And I am stopping her from doing something she cares about because of the games. When I realized this I felt a release.

I still played my games, but I immediately texted her and said, I know this is important to you. Can we plan something special for us to do together tomorrow?

By releasing my PopUp, I could more effectively handle the situation and resolve the conflict.