I recently attended my best friend’s wedding. At the beginning of the wedding, I was in such a good mood. Reconnecting with friends and having a good time. I was also anticipating giving my best man speech. It was a large wedding so I knew that was going to be a bit intimidating.
Then, a family walked in from my childhood that I did not expect to see. I was a pretty rambunctious kid, and this family didn’t like me. They also lived across the street from my best friend so I would often see them. Because of the history, I suddenly felt my heart drop. I was triggered. I felt tight. My mind was completely pre-occupied.
I knew that in this new state there was no way I could deliver a high-quality speech. I was too distracted.
So I turned to my wife and told her what was going on. She reminded me to do the work.
Tyler: Ok, I am upset because this family harbors negative feelings towards me…
Shab: Turn it around
Tyler: I am upset with myself because I harbor negative feelings towards them… Wow that’s it. I feel such a relief.
It was amazing to suddenly feel this negative tightness and overwhelm drop out of my experience. It took only a minute and it was so worth.
I actually forgot that the family was there until much later in the evening when I saw them again.