You: We are both interested in psychology
You: what interests you?
Stranger: I am a 2nd year College major in BS Psychology
You: No way!
You: I have figured out some things about psychology and therapy that have helped me a lot and I want to share them with others. Open to giving it a try?
You: Ok cool. In order to do this, we need a topic. It should be something that is on your mind. Could be something that causes anxiety, sadness, or thoughts you don’t want
Stranger: Hmmm how about pressure
Stranger: Like for example peer pressure
You: thats a good topic
You: so you yourself experience peer pressure, correct?
Stranger: Of course
Stranger: Comparison between cousins
You: Tell me more?
Stranger: When my cousins got a high grade or an awards
Stranger: My parents will say why don’t you act like your cousins
You: Ahh I see
You: So lets get specific. Do you feel this because your cousins did better? Or because your parents brought it up
You: like lets say they did better but your parents didnt care?
You: is it an issue then?
Stranger: My real issue there is why should I need to be compared?
Stranger: Me and my cousins are different
You: So if your parents didnt care and didnt compare you, no issue, right?
You: Ok lets try something
You: I want you to think about when your parents do this…
You: This frustrating thing they do comparing you
You: And compelte the sentence. I am annoyed with my parents because _______
You: try to write whatever comes to mind
Stranger: It’s always my fault
You: They always make it your fault?
You: Ok lets try something… Its going to seem counterintuitive ok
You: “I am annoyed with myself because I always make it my fault.”
You: “I am annoyed with myself because I always make it their fault”
You: did either of those resonate? you may have to reflect a little
Stranger: Actually of I think that way I will get more depressed
You: I am not asking you to think that way. I want you to see if you have ever thougth that way
You: Ok so you never really think things are your fault that are not your fault?
Stranger: I didn’t do anything wrong I’m just being myself
You: Yeah I get that
You: sometimes we react to others because part of us does the thing they are doing, but we do it subconsciously
You: by exposing it and making it conscious, we actually release it
You: Can we try one more thing?
You: it may not be that one
Stranger: Btw where are you from?
You: the states
You: Want to try one more thing? I have an idea
You: Ok… So can you think of a time where you didnt do anything wrong, you were just being yourself, but someone made something your fault?
You: from the past
You: usually if it works some idea comes to mind
You: some memory
Stranger: Ahhh sometimes I realtalk people like for example I don’t like their attitude I will say it to them face to face
Stranger: Some people don’t like that attitude of minr
You: ohh so you were just being yourself, real talking and someone made that your fault?
You: they kinda blamed you or something
You: Ok how many times has this happened
Stranger: Yeah just because I am telling the truth 😂
You: can you think of a few times?
Stranger: It happened a lot especially in my highschool days
You: Ok. So when you remembered this, did it feel like something clicked?
You: obviously you know it happened
You: but in this context sometimes it feels like… kinda makes you think
Stranger: Hmmm actually I still think I didn’t do anything wrong 😂
You: I know!
You: im not saying you did
Stranger: I’m just being myself and telling what I think is the truth
You: so we are working on the idea of your parents comparing you
Stranger: I always tell the truth even if it means I will hurt someone
You: and so your mind is saying they make things my fault that are not my fault
You: and im wondering if that is connected in some way to them making this your fault when it wasnt
You: sometimes if we can find the connection, you wont be as annoyed about the cousin comparins thing
Stranger: Actually now I don’t care if my parents compare
You: so I would say we figured something out. nice work